Thursday, April 28, 2011

I feel like I need to go take a nap now.

Yep, this was fun and also time-consuming. I omitted Pixar films, because I still view Pixar as more of a stand-alone company (although I might pull an AJ and list the Pixar films themselves in order of how much I love them). Also, I have to say: I didn't worry so much about the order of the movies until about my top twenty, so resist the urge to be nitpicky.

Also, FYI: Rotten Tomatoes wrote a top 50 animated Disney films list that inspired me and Kenneth to do this. Here's the link, see what you think about it, I seem to remember thinking that the list-writer was on all the crack. Pinocchio at number one? Drugs are the only explanation! Also, the very idea that Home on the Range was ranked higher than Robin Hood literally makes me want to shoot something with a harpoon gun.

50. National Treasure
HAHAAHAHAHAH JK Y’ALL. I’ve never actually seen this movie, and now that Nicholas Cage is a source of recurring nightmares for me, I never actually will. On to the real list!

49. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
In my opinion, Disney Studios does animation best, and so the bottom three of my list is populated heavily with live action films. These are films I enjoyed, for sure, but can’t quite oust the actual animated stories (in my opinion). Honey, I Shrunk the Kids is one such movie. I remember loving it as a kid (and fantasizing about shrinking down and having my own terrifying adventures). Also, there is a playground at Hollywood Studios in DisneyWorld that is modeled after the backyard scene in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Cool, right?

48. The Santa Clause
I freaking love Tim Allen. This will always be one of my favorite Christmas movies, no matter how many awful sequels it spawns.

47. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Meh. Atlantis never really did it for me. Like Ken said, it was a great idea, with poor execution. Disney basically blew its chance to hop on the steampunk train a few years early with an instant classic. But the animation is gorgeous and the concepts are pretty excellent, so it makes the top fifty.

46. Treasure Planet
Again—great ideas, poor execution. Also, NO LOVE INTEREST. What? That doesn’t do it for me. I need a love interest in a Disney movie or I get intensely bored, okay? However, it does feature the voice talents of Joseph Gordon-Levitt (soon to be Alberto Falcone in The Dark Knight Rises, yesssss), which is nice. Cool ideas, pretty, et cetera.

45. The Muppet Christmas Carol
Don’t lie: this is one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time. Mostly because of Michael Caine, but also because of everything else.

44. Lilo and Stitch
“I am going to stuff you in the blender, push ‘puree’, then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker, and when he says, ‘Mmm, this is great, what’s your secret?’ I’m gonna say….love and….nurturing!” This movie had some great lines, great moments, great music. HOWEVER, I hate the character of Stitch, I hate him hate him hate him. I hate the fact that you can meet him in the Magic Kingdom. He’s the worst. If the movie had just been Lilo, it would have been perfect.

43. The Aristocats
Two things made this movie great for me: the music and the geese. Other than that, it’s pretty forgettable. (The entertainment department here in WDW doesn’t feel that way, though. You can meet the youngest cat, Marie, in Epcot France, and there is a ton of merchandise for her. Weird!)

42. Bambi
Whatever, Bambi. Thanks for manipulating my emotions by killing his mother right at the beginning. I don’t like this movie very much. But the animation was beautiful and there was some nice music, so whatever. Also this was reportedly Walt Disney's favorite movie he had ever worked on, which counts for something in my book.

41. Pinocchio
Guess what, everyone? Pinocchio is absolutely terrifying. When was the last time you watched it? Do you remember how the young boys who went gallivanting off to Pleasure Island got turned to DONKEYS and shipped off to the SALT MINES, where they were most likely brutally worked to death? What the hell, Disney? Where’s the whimsy and the childish fantasy? Because all I see is a waking nightmare. NO THANKS, PINOCCHIO. It’s in my top fifty only because, admittedly, the animation was groundbreaking at the time, and it’s still a very beautiful movie to watch. And also unintentionally hilarious, at some parts.

40. Ponyo
I just saw this last night and decided to count it, even though I probably shouldn’t because I’m not counting Pixar, et cetera et cetera. ANYWAY WHATEVER. Ponyo had some awesome imagery (a whale swimming over a road! By a tree)! Bright colors! And an amazing voice cast (holy cow, Cate Blanchett, Liam Neeson, Tina Fey, Betty White!). And overall, it was an enjoyable experience. BUT ALSO SO FREAKING WEIRD, in a Japanese, why-is-this-happening kind of way. Why did Ponyo turning human pull the moon closer to earth? That literally makes zero sense whatsoever, and they didn’t even attempt to explain it in the movie. Humph.

39. Lady and the Tramp
If not for the music, I would have forgotten that this movie existed a long time ago. However, it did give us such classics as “Bella Notte” and “He’s a Tramp”, so I guess that means I LOVE IT.

38. Oliver and Company
Billy Joel Billy Joel Billy Joel BILLY JOEL.

37. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
This movie terrifies me to this day. But it’s still clever, well acted (Bob Hoskins is really one of the greatest actors of our time, Adrian Brody said so), and fun to watch. And it spawned one of the greatest rides: Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin at Disneyland.

36. The Emperor’s New Groove
“How did you get here before us?” “I’m not sure. I mean, logically, it just doesn’t make sense.” While a little disappointing length-wise and music wise, this movie was hilarious. HILARIOUS. David Spade needs to do more things, end of story. Also Yzma is another one of my favorite villains, is that okay with you guys?

35. Dumbo
“The very things that held you down are going to carry you up, and up, and up!” This is another pretty forgettable movie for me. The quickest way to lose my attention with a movie is to omit a love interest, and that’s a tidbit you can take right to the bank.

34. The Three Caballeros
I remember almost nothing about this movie except for loving it. I still get the title song stuck in my head sometimes. It makes the cut!

33. Cinderella
Uuuuuh, not my favorite. HOWEVER, I really like Cinderella’s character design (that movie is chock-full of 50s fashion, my favorite fashion of them all), and I like the fact that the evil cat is named Lucifer. HOW GREAT IS THAT. Also Walt Disney once said that he viewed the scene where Cinderella's work clothes turns into her famous silver dress as a visual embodiment of dreams coming true. That makes me love it a little bit more.

32. Alice in Wonderland
Well I don’t love this movie as much as Luke, but it’s still pretty great. Mostly because the Queen of Hearts, and the Cheshire Cat, but Tweedledee and Tweedledum are pretty cool, also. Alice is a tidge bit annoying, though. I HAD TO SAY IT.

31. James and the Giant Peach
Holy cow, this movie was so so great. And terrifying. But mostly great. A giant peach, with giant bugs, carried by seagulls? A mechanical shark with rusty rows of teeth? And a rhino or something? What was that rhino symbolic of, I wonder? Someone enlighten me. And the best part about James and the Giant Peach was that he got to stay with his friends forever in the end. There was none of that crap, “You’re a man now, James, and we have to go back to the wild.” I hate those types of endings. But this one was all, “Nope, we’ll live together, it’s a-okay cool. No problems with that.” Which is how it should be.

30. Enchanted
There are many things that I really, really love about Enchanted. James Marsden and Amy Adams are absolute scene-stealers. All of the obvious (and lighthearted) digs at classic Disney princess movies are clever. But I hated Patrick Dempsey, I hated the stupid ending, and I hated the fact that they cast Idina Menzel as the annoying girlfriend and she didn’t get to sing ONCE. What the heck? That in itself pushes Enchanted back on the list.

29. The Little Mermaid
URSULA MAKES THIS MOVIE. You all know what I’m talking about. Ariel is pretty annoying still, though.

28. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Mostly because Winnie the Pooh reminds me so much of Luke (because he loves him, y’all. Not because Luke is obese and addicted to honey). The sketchy animation style of this movie really does it for me. (Also, I am SO SO EXCITED for the new Pooh movie coming out this summer. Even the horribly edited preview can't turn me off.)

27. Mulan
This movie is better than I give it credit for. I really loved Mulan as a character. And “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” is one of the best montage scenes ever. I think they could have pushed for a little more of a Chinese influence, though—in their animation and their music. It would have given the movie a little more staying power, in my opinion.

26. Bedknobs and Broomsticks
I have a deep and abiding love for this movie. It helped me to believe in magic and it gave the world the great song, “Portobello Road.”

25. A Goofy Movie
This movie is awesome and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Not only does it have the greatest 90’s music there ever was, it also has discernible character development. It deserves some kudos.

24. Pete’s Dragon
This movie is awesome, mostly because: a) the soundtrack is really, really great (go look up “It’s Not Easy” on YouTube and prepare to have your frigid heart melted) and b) Mickey Rooney is a crazy lighthouse keeper, and also c) the bad wizard or whatever is really, really funny. I love Pete’s Dragon for the campy, cheesy fun that it is.

23. The Rescuers
There’s only one thing I really remember about this movie: Madame Medusa, a really excellent bad guy. Also she had two pet alligators, for no reason. HOW GREAT.

22. The Sword in the Stone
Merlin was great, the music was great, but this movie suffers from a common problem: pacing issues. It’s too short! Wart is crowned king and BAM! Done! But I still love it.

21. Meet the Robinsons
I love this movie, probably a little more than I am supposed to. I loved the message about family, and all the characters, and Mike Yagoobian, and the inventions. And the quote that they use in the end, by Walt Disney, is one of my favorites ever: “Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep looking forward, opening up new doors and doing new things…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

20. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
I would feel like a bad Disney fan if I didn’t appreciate this movie for what it truly is: the one that started it all. Walt put a lot of his heart and soul into Snow White, and it shows. Too bad the Prince looks like a fourteen-year old girl.

19. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
This movie is severely underappreciated. The leads are strong and the music is amazing and the animation is gorgeous. And Frollo is a CREEP. Remember that song “Hellfire”? Creepy!

18. Muppet Treasure Island
I’M NOT ASHAMED. If we’re going to count these Muppets movies as Disney movies, Muppet Treasure Island deserves to be near the top. This movie will hold its own against any other comedies, kid-friendly or not. BECAUSE IT’S HILARIOUS. “Jim Jim Jimmy Jim Jim Jim.”

17. Beauty and the Beast
The pros: Gaston and his great song, the townspeople and their great song, Crazy Maurice and his goggles, Cogsworth and Lumiere and their witty banter. The cons: Belle and her annoying crying scenes, the Beast and all his annoying moody emotions. Despite these, I truly love this movie and wish it had won the Oscar.

16. Tarzan
This is a very well-done Disney movie, in all respects: the African scenery is really gorgeous, Clayton is an awesome bad-guy (who meets a very grisly end), Tarzan is quite a man’s man, and I like the character of Jane. However, it has to be said: Phil Collins was really phoning it in when he wrote the lyrics to the music.
The power to be strong/and the wisdom to be wise/all these things will come to you in time/in learning you will teach/and in teaching you will learn
Every time I hear these words, I cringe.

15. Sleeping Beauty
There’s no getting around it: even though Aurora and her parents are incompetent dips, this movie is beautiful. The landscapes are heart-meltingly gorgeous. And for goodness’ sakes, Maleficent is the scariest villain that ever existed, don’t pretend otherwise. This truly is a wonderful film, despite its flaws, and therefore earns a high ranking on my list.

14. Robin Hood
This movie would rank much higher on my list if it was just a bit longer. Alas! But on its own, I love it. Scene to scene, it has some of the best Disney moments ever. My favorite is the turtle who waves his flag and says, “Go Dad!”

13. Pocahontas
Haters gonna hate, but Pocahontas is still one of my favorites. Strong female lead! Amazing music! Blatant historical inaccuracy! Check check check! Also it features the voice of Mel Gibson before he was so absolutely crazy, and should therefore be preserved for future studies. I was a little resentful, however, that they just didn't change the ending so John Smith and Pocahontas ended up together. They threw an accurate storyline out the window when they decided to make Pocahontas's grandmother a talking willow tree, so why stop there?

12. Mary Poppins
This movie is literally practically perfect. Julie Andrews is lovely and Dick van Dyke is my number one bro. And I love the song, “Let’s Go Fly a Kite”, I love it.

11. The Great Mouse Detective
OH JES. I love this movie! I loved Basil and I loved the toymaker and Rattigan was an awesome villain. It was so scary, yet so delightful. I love it enough to let it edge out Mary Poppins in my affections, and truly, it would probably edge out many others as well, if it weren't so short!

10. Tangled
What it lacks in decent pacing and a likeable male lead, it makes up for with lovely animation, music, a strong villain, and an EXTREMELY likeable female lead. I was expecting less from this movie (because, frankly, the previews were awful), and so imagine my pleasant surprise when it turned out to be one of my favorites of the year. (Still couldn’t oust Toy Story 3 for my best animation affection, of course). Also, it has to be said: the character animation in Tangled is the best of ANY animated movie I’ve EVER seen. Including any Pixar film. (I SAID IT).

9. One Hundred and One Dalmatians
There are two things that make this one of my favorite Disney films of all time: Cruella de Ville (one of the greatest villains in the history of cinema) and Roger Radcliffe (one of the sexiest men in all cinema). To be honest, the parts with the dogs always sort of bored me. But I never got bored with looking at this:

WHAT A MAN.

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
More like The Curse of the Long Sub-Title, amiright? Anyhoo this movie is undeniably awesome, legitimately well-made and well-written, even if the subsequent sequels turned out to be unwatchable abortions. Johnny Depp has forever immortalized the character of Jack Sparrow, so kudos to him.

7. Fantasia
How could Kenneth have forgotten Fantasia? I love this movie. The music is amazing. Did you know that Walt Disney intended for Fantasia to be an immersive film experience? As in, he wanted the audience splashed with water during the water scenes, and he wanted floral scent pumped out during the flower scenes and sulphur-ish scent during the Chernobog scene. But it wasn’t feasible to equip movie theaters across the country with that kind of technology. Fantasia was a box-office flop, because audiences couldn’t relate with a movie that didn’t have a central character or storyline. PHILISTINES.

6. The Princess and the Frog
I have an unnatural affection for this movie. Dr. Facilier is probably my number one (maybe two?) favorite villain of all time. I loved Tiana and her motives, and the overall message of the movie: work hard, but don’t be afraid to take some help or shift your focus if it feels right. And I thought Naveen was so funny. “I am Prince Naveen of Maldonia. And this is Tiana, the waitress. (do not kiss her).” It was a little short for my tastes, and the pacing was off (a problem that a lot of recent Disney movies seem plagued with). Also, it only had four real songs. Lame!

5. Hercules
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST. Gospel music mixed with Greek mythology was a stroke of genius. And James Wood as Hades! Danny DeVito as Phil! Also possibly my favorite Disney song EVER, “Go the Distance”. It’s a worthy pick for my top five.

4. Aladdin
Riff-raff, street rat. I DON’T BUY THAT. There are four major criteria I judge Disney movies on: the leads, the music, the animation, the villain. In all four categories, Aladdin excels. Aladdin was likeable and heroic, and Jasmine is probably my favorite of the “classic” Disney princesses. I don’t even have to talk about the music, because everyone probably has “Prince Ali” stuck in their heads right now. And remember the bright, frenetic glory of “Friend Like Me”? And of course, Jafar was the perfect villain: creepy, vaguely pedophile-ish, mustached, evil. TWO THUMBS UP.

3. Peter Pan
Based on my favorite book of all time, Peter Pan certainly has a special place in my heart. Captain Hook is a man’s man, and Never Never Land has always been my top choice in the Which Disney World Would You Like to Live In game. Even though WENDY DARLING ugggh I have always hated that character, don’t even get me started.

2. The Lion King
The Lion King is the closest thing to a flawless animated movie that Walt Disney Studios has every produced. The music is amazing. The characters are sympathetic, and the voice actors were impeccably chosen. The death of Mufasa is one of the most heart-wrenching scenes in cinematic history. The parallel storyline to Macbeth is totally bad-ass.

AAAAAAAAAANNNNDDDDD

1. The Jungle Book
It’s The Jungle Book for the win! Are you surprised? Keep in mind, I’m not saying this is the very best movie that Walt Disney Studios has produced—I think The Lion King takes that crown. This one just happens to be one of my favorites to watch. There’s nothing I can really put my finger on—the dialogue, the music, and the style of animation just suit my taste perfectly.

IT'S DONE. Whew! What a wild ride! Now it's time for the intense discussion, let's make it happen!

12 comments:

AJ said...

I'm up I'm up!! Very solid list. I especially liked the justifications for Jungle Book as number 1, "can't put my finger on it. . ." Lion King is a solid number 2, though I've neglected to point out that when I was in 4th grade I could recite, line for line, The Lion King in its entirety. Perhaps this is why I don't recall the last time I watched it and have little desire to rectify the situation.

kenny said...

Hm. Interesting list. Where's the Pixar rating? While a review of your list might cause me to make some minor alterations to my list (adding Fantasia for example), I applaud the justification you gave to giving certain movies their position in the list, even though I don't agree with all of them.

MY LIST IS STILL BETTER!

Kelsen said...

What. Ken. You're full of it. "101 Dalmatians" isn't even IN your top fifty, yet "Dumbo" is. Also "Enchanted" (aka "The Great Disappointment") ranked about "The Princess and the Frog". YOUR LIST IS WEAK, ADMIT IT. And you missed "Fantasia" and "Pete's Dragon"!

AJ said...

I am afraid that I must demand a Pixar list as well. I'd also like to see your main list integrated with Pixar out of curiosity to where they rank. But most of all I like how different each list is, showing how the movies influence us as individuals.
And you list is the best Ken . . . at least to you, you and no one else.

kenny said...

Aj, you're a terrible person.

Kelsen said...

One of the reasons why I chose not to include Pixar films is because it would mess up my whole order. MESS IT ALL UP. My top twenty would be changed dramatically. IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT.

Kelsen said...

Also, where the eff is Luke?

AJ said...

If I knew where Luke was I wouldn't cry myself to sleep every other night. And yes what I want is to see a top 20 with Pixar integrated. I think you're just being a sissy. Ken and I addressed Pixar and it was incredibly difficult (at least for me (ken's list doesn't appear to have received much thought ;)) The old versus the new, past compared with present and future. But I did it and I didn't loose any of the pre-pixar childhood fancy. Be brave, brave and strong!

Luke K. said...

Jungle Book beating out the whole bunch. Did not see that coming.

Kelsen said...

Lucas! Have you seen Tangled yet and if so, does it change your list at all? Inquiring minds!

Luke K. said...

I did see Tangled, and no, it wouldn't make the list. It was a fine movie; it just wasn't great, or even very good. It was just good. The pace was too schizophrenic; it was manic then somber without transitioning smoothly between the two. The songs felt forced, nowhere near as good as Disney's best. I think the film would have been better served without them, especially the scene where they're in the boat under the lanterns. It was like the creators said, "Okay, time for the two leads to sing about how much they love each other. That's what normally happens here, right? Write some generic lyrics, show some shots of them looking plaintively at each other, and make sure it ends with them singing in tandem." And the song the ruffians sing in the pub felt especially tacked-on. The movie never made me feel a real connection to the emotions it was trying to convey. And even though Maximus was well-animated and very funny, I felt like they overdid his cartoonish aspects. In fact, that's a good way for me to sum up the movie: overdone.
Also, the voice-over narrative parts with Flynn sucked balls. Why couldn't they just have an elderly, respected actor do those and actually bring pathos to the story? Those snarky, sarcastic voice-overs made me think the filmmakers never even considered their movie to be taken seriously.

That being said, there was a lot I enjoyed. I really liked the Rapunzel, how she was curious and brave and always walking around bare-footed. Mandy Moore did a really great job bringing her to life. The villain was also pretty funny and cool, even though she didn't have any powers beyond being an ultimate bitch, which was good enough for me.
I loved the scenes where Gothel would snip at Rapunzel in her underhanded way, reminded me of Mom back in my high school days.
And it is definitely the best-looking 3D movie I have seen to date, not just because of its technical prowess. The character animation was incredible and when the camera would pan out to reveal a vista, my eyes would orgasm.
Some of my favorite scenes: the part where Rapunzel has Flynn tied up to the chair was hilarious; the part where the horse flies over the girl in slow-motion; I loved the moments where the film slowed down and Flynn and Rapunzel would just talk to each other, those parts felt sincere to me; and I almost died laughing when the guards were stopped in the hallway by the mime then they were rammed by the bull-man, then the mime turned to the camera with his hands on his cheeks. That was comedy gold.

All in all, I would definitely see it again, but like "Princess & The Frog", it felt like they had a huge chance and blew it. Still, here's hoping they keep trying, because if all their efforts look as good as this one I'll be there opening day.

Kelsen said...

Well maybe you should try watching it multiple times. I know that sounds distasteful now that you just watched it, but I remember my first viewing was less than great, but once I went in with it knowing I didn't like Flynn's narration and it wasn't quite what I hoped for, I liked it a lot better.