I don't really know what to talk about, and admittedly I'm a little nervous. After all, this blog is home to some of the finest intellectuals I know (although I only know seven or eight people) and to try and compete with them is a daunting task. I mean, Kelsi can read three books while standing on her head and Ken's always into some new political science treatise or wordy novella on the finer points of 18th century sailing. I could tell you about my readings of 'The Idiot' or 'Crime And Punishment', but it'd sound like a kid telling you about a picture he drew that he's so proud of. It's cute, but you know the child is retarded (as all children are) and you could have drawn a better picture any day of the week. So I'll do what I always do when I face a difficult obstacle: I won't even try to compete.
Instead, I'll tell you about some books I've been reading in that most derided of all book genres: fantasy. Oh, poor fantasy. Fantasy and sci-fi (or SyFy) books are like that weird cousin at the family reunions. You know who I mean. The one who has a ponytail and is overweight, pale, and in his mid-thirties but still working at Taco Bell. In other words, fantasy is a genre that people generally avoid unless they want people to associate them with weirdness. But let me tell you something, my friends and AJ: I have discovered someone who might make fantasy cool. And his name is China Mieville.
Now, we all now what comes to mind when we hear the word 'fantasy' in regards to books. We think of elves who are basically hippies good at archery, dwarves who have scraggly beards and live in mountains*, orcs who are bad, and humans who are either transcendent paragons of courage or sniveling sacks of crap. Oh, and dragons. Why don't we just call fantasy what it is: Tolkienism, because it seems we're all content to just take what he created and copy and paste it interminably. 'And it came to pass, that in the land of Shirtock, in the age of Krauadin, there came a great evil. And yea, a plucky young adventurer rose up with his misfit band of companions to defeat the evil. And yea, there was much battle and many orcs died, and the Biblical references were many, and the Christian subtext was plentiful, and the not-quite-blatant-but-still-obvious racism was ubiquitious. And in the end, the evil was defeated.' I love 'The Lord of the Rings', but aren't we to the point where we can move on? Can't we create something new while occasionally giving a nod to Mr. Tolkien without ripping him off wholesale? China Mieville seems to think so.
China has written a few books, but the only ones I've read (so far) are set in the world of Bas-Lag, a steampunk land. For those of you who don't know what steampunk is, look it up. I'll wait. Now, in the land of Bas-Lag there is a city by the name of New Crobuzon (or NC), a sprawling metropolis of squalor and filth. NC is a melting pot of dozens of different races and technologies. It's most equivalent to London, but it's populated with monsters. So I guess it's not different from London at all. Zing! Take that, you filthy tea-suckers. Why don't you go oppress the Irish some more while your teeth rot?
Anyway, the first book set in the world of Bas-Lag, 'Perdido Street Station', opens in this city. Our protagonist is a young, ambitious scientist by the name of Isaac Dan der Grimnebulin. He kinda reminds me of Ken, but he cusses. So, he's a scientist who is commissioned by a client to develop a way to fly without the help of any bulky instruments. He sets to work, ordering all manner of flying animals to dissect and study. He receives birds, insects, and even things that hover. Among all the creatures he receives is an exotic caterpillar he's never seen before. Fascinated, he keeps the creature and wonders what it will become. What it becomes is a nightmarish moth/humanoid that escapes to prowl the night skies and proceeds to feast on the minds of any thinking creature, rendering them completely catatonic forever. The city falls into a state of terror, the government declares martial law, and Isaac must undo what he has wrought.
That's as much as I'll say about the plot, since I can't do it justice with my limited vocabulary and loose grasp language Enlsgih the. Instead, I'll list a few of the things that are in Perdido Street Station and hope they entice you:
* I've mentioned how there are dozens of races of creatures in this city. They include giant plant people by the name of Cactacae who bleed sap from their spiny skin and have fibrous wood for bones, insect humanoids named Khepri who use their spit to create beautiful works of art, frog people (I can't remember the name and I don't want to look it up) who waddle around and are able to temporarily form water into shapes and objects, and humans who go by the name of humans. How wacky is that? Humans are silly.
* Soldiers who use Nazi tactics to brutalize citizens while wearing steam-powered suits that enhance their strength.
* The Remade: criminals who have been reformed by the city's crooked judges. How? Well, by being given extra limbs and mechanical parts. Examples: a mother who drowns her baby has the child's arms grafted to her face to always remind her of her crime, a thief who attempts to steal a statue of a bird is covered in ragged feathers and given a beak, scores of people have wheels and guns attached to them, and a prostitute has her hands and feet replaced with dog paws (for reasons I won't go into).
* Jack Half-A-Prayer: A serial killer/Robin Hood-figure who was remade with a giant mantis arm but turned it against his oppressors and now stalks the streets, dealing out his own brand of justice.
*A romantic relationship between a human and a khepri (the insect humanoids). The love scenes are quite interesting.
*A giant garbage robot who lives in a dump with his avatar, a reanimated corpse the robot controls and uses to speak to Isaac and his companions.
*A deity by the name of Jabber. This makes for some interesting curses. "Sweet Jabber!" "What the Jabber?" "Oh, Jabber f***!" "Godspit and Jabber!" And so on.
There's more, much more to this story than what I've put here. But I can't list them all, mostly because I'm drunk and about to pass out. Suffice it to say, China Mieville has revitalized the fantasy genre (much like Rowling did) and has made a fan out of me. If you're looking for a wonderful tale of adventure, horror, revenge, honor, and redemption, look no further than 'Perdido Street Station'. And then read 'The Scar' and 'Iron Council', not exactly sequels but still set in the same universe. You can thank me later by giving me your liver when mine craps out.
*Okay, this has bugged me for awhile and it's time to get it off my chest. What is the deal with all dwarves being men? Every single game, book, and movie I've seen there are only male dwarves. Where are the women? Do they have any? Are the dwarves just a race of overgrown boys who live in dark, deep mountains together and talk about how gross girls are? And if so, how do they reproduce? Asexually, like hydra polyps? At any rate, you know what happens when a ton of men are all alone together for extended periods of time. Gimli? More like Gayli, amiright?
3 comments:
Luke. Words cannot express the joy I felt when I realized that you had published your first post. YOUR FIRST POST. *Wipes away a sentimental tear.* And now the only thing is to delicately rip apart your writing and call you worthless!
I jest, of course. This was a very entertaining, thought-out post, which made me want to "check into" China Mieville (or whatever the kids are saying nowadays). I can tell that you will soon become a valuable contributor to this blag.
luke. this is the greatest post. ever. in the history of posting. i'm adding it to my list of greatest things i've ever read. i laughed. i cried. i hurled. eh?
Regarding Dwarves: if you recall according to Peter Jackson dwarf women resemble dwarf men so much in voice and appearence that they are almost indistinguishable. So you're probably being exposed to a group of dwarfs that is in reality mixed in sexes but you're not able to tell the difference.
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